Setting boundaries can be hard. Really hard. You work on it in therapy sessions, you talk to friends, you search online for just the right words, and even then, sometimes people don’t respect your boundaries. According to Nedra Glover Tawwab, author of Set Boundaries, Find Peace, these might be some of the reasons people aren’t respecting your boundaries:
- You haven’t actually told people what your boundaries are. Realizing your need better boundaries is great. Defining your boundaries, even better. But if you’re keeping them to yourself, you’re not going to get very far.
- You’re not clear when you speak about them. Sometimes having the right words is hard. If we are not clear when we state our boundaries, other people are less likely to be clear as well.
- Lack of follow through. Defining and setting boundaries are just the first two steps. According to Tawwab, you also have to hold them accountable. Remind them of the boundary. Follow through on the consequences of not honoring your boundaries. For example, you might end the phone conversation, or no longer share your clothes with a roommate.
Want to learn more? Read this article.
